自闭与孤独

*伤好痛
Was surprised when i received a text earlier in the evening.
From a dear friend,a i know you are there and you know i am here that kind since we have lost the initiatives to even bother contacting eachother.
I was always the kind who needs others to make the first move though...
In a way,in my lonesome world,it is actually a good thing.Life is short,i dont want the people around me to be sad for even one day because of ME.

The nurses said:"oh,you were here sometime ago.Weren't you?"
The patients at the other beds were always giving me those "你是怪物"look and would also asked:"你的家人没来啊?"
When I made a will,the lawyers looked at me the same way and asked:"Are you sure this is how you want it to be?"
I replied:"Yes.I am absolutely sure.Although I am not some rich ass,I just do not want my personal belongings to land in the wrong hands."

All these need only one person to tolerate them and that's ME.No involvement of anyone else.

I need to recuperate.For the next two months at least.I still need to do my own laundry,cook my own meals,change the gauze myself although i was told not to move around or do anything much for the first 6 weeks... It was all so sad.

*阿公 啊,sorry 我中秋节不能去看你.我相信你会明白的.等我好了,一定去看你.